Wish came true...

*****drumroll*****

Alas, the long waited ice-skating outing took place last evening on the grounds of the National History Museum. =) It was unusually cold and wet yesterday, with snowing and sleeting in teasing amounts thoughout the day. I am glad we made the decision to schedule our ice-skating outing nearer to chirstmas, saving something special to do over the long holiday weekend. I would stop and watch people having fun in the ring everytime I walk past NHM for the last 2 months and wished that Christmas will arrive soon.

Well, that said, the ice-skating party arrived late due to some understandable distractions over at Oxford street but we still managed to grab our skates and bravely ventured onto the ice to start our adventure. Novices at ice-skating, we first hand-walked ourselves along the perimeter railings, but faced with a massive perimeter human traffic jam decorated with flying dagger-feet and white snowy bums, we decided to be more daring and started moving away from the railings. Jo discovered her natural aptitude for uncontrollable spinning and I did a pretty good imitation of a scrambling duck down the sides. CR is the self-taught pro in our group, and shared with us her secret of balancing and how not to fall down (Look forward!! Never Lean Back!!) before zipping off to join the more advanced level skaters. After a few rounds I started to enjoy the retro blue lights, the festy music, and was delighted when snowflakes started dancing and floating down from the sky. Such a romantic surprise! It was my wish come true, skating in the snow, and I never wished more than ever for MX to be in London to share that moment with.

Other than the skating 'highlight', this christmas break has been really good to me. Managed to find time to do my laundry, washed my bedsheets, cleaned my room, cook for myself, put on a mask, spend a whole day in bed reading storybooks (3 1/2 books in fact), go through all the past issues of Times and Newsweek that had been piling up in the corner of my room since the beginning of November, sleep 12 hours a day, go to a party, go shopping, get new specs made with 25% student discount (hope that solves my terrible headache), caught 2 out of 3 movies which I have been wanting to watch, recharge and not think about work for 4 solid days. I wanted lots of personal time and I got it and it felt so wonderful actually having the energy to do the chores for once and not dragging my tired mind/body to do them. Completing the low piority businesses that has been queuing on my mental 'to do' list for months because of other more pressing work has also brought on a sense of relieve and peace to my mind.

I am happy that I've managed to catch the Constant Garderner before it dropped off the big screen, as it is quite a rare occurance nowadays to find a movie with substance, one which has an important message and no flashy stuffs. I totally enjoyed it. March of the Penguins was quite alright. Enjoyable, educational, and makes one marvel at the sacrifices the king penguins have to make to procreate and to survive on one of the harshest faces of the earth. There is just one more movie that I'll like to catch, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, just for the laughs.

Well, got to defragment my college PC now, one of the many things I planned to complete today so that I can start working properly tomorrow. My working companion has been hanging on me lately and hopefully it'll behave itself after this holiday. =) I have a feeling that the new year will be good. My now almost empty mental baggage and energised body and mind is brimming with
positive energy that should sustain me till the 20th of Jan.

abc...xyz.

Nothing much.

Didn't feel like working today. Thought I was pretty late coming in at 10am but there was only 1 other girl in the office. By 11.30pm the office was 80% girls and 1 lucky chap. We joked that anyone who complains about the sex ratio in our department should walk into our office now. Looks like it's only Ruth and me coming in tomorrow but I'll be off after lunch to catch Narnia or March of the Penguins with YS. Haven't caught a single movie this month. I think Penguins will be really good.

The stomach flu virus was still giving me problems till Tues night. Anything I consume which is not bread will toss and turn in my stomach, refusing to be digested. Maybe my stomach or intestine enzyme production is still calling in sick. Anyway, after having that bowl of noodle soup swimming in my tummy for 3 hours, I decided to stop fighting the inevitable and just threw up so that I could go to sleep, which was probably the best thing. I had some veg and rice for dinner yesterday and it seemed fine. Kept telling people that I'm hungry and I'm sick of bread, which kind of surprised myself too cos I'm totally a bread person. I adore sandwiches and baguettes and pastry and can live for weeks on it but right now I'm really sick of it. Gonna try having some rice again tonight.

The taiwanese drama 'Prince turns Frog' is really good. The storyline is simple and predictable but the screenplay, music and the acting in combination made it a very enjoyable romantic comedy. Thanks to SF who made sure a copy got delivered to me, otherwise I'll never get the chance to watch it. =) Fell in love with the male lead and the music, especially the one by 7F called 'wo zhi xiang yao' (I only want...). Some of the songs by 183 club are quite nice too. Too bad the music stores here don't sell chinese pop. Thinking of getting the drama's music cd when I get home and also the 1st drama that Ming Dao acted in.... something about Emperor's clothes..... but since that was his first drama, acting won't be as good.

Sold 3 pairs of earrings yesterday. Didn't feel too bad actually. Kind of sad to part with them but seeing how much my friend likes them, a sense of warmth and satisfaction crept into my heart too. Well, got to think about when to post them online cos I suppose it's kind of late now since most people would have gotten their chirstmas shopping done, so it'll be pointless paying the listing fee if no one is going to search for gifts.

Thought I'll just write a few lines before I meet up with CR but seems like I've just overshot the time and gonna be late. Have become habitually late when meeting people recently. What happened to my time management?!? Must make a new year resolution to kick this habit next year!! *LOL* But I know I won't be late for King Kong later though.

OK, Merry Chirstmas and Happy New Year!! =)

Autumn Collection '05 : Dilemma

My 2005 Swarovski crystals handmade earrings.


It's theraputic making them.
They give me something colourful and pretty to play with when I'm stressed.
Some shades are quite rare to come by, a tinge of metallic grey on purple, a matted yellow-based green, etc
They bring me joy everytime I see them.
Love them to bits.
But I made them with the intention of giving them away or selling them on Mirage since I don't wear earrings often.

Dilemma...
It brings me joy if other people appreciates them too but I can't bear to sell them.
For the moment that is.
There will be a potential buyer tonight.
And I'll be saying my goodbyes.

Christmas Dinner @ Loch Fyne

We had our own mini christmas dinner last friday at this lovely scottish seafood restaurant at Covent Garden. 8 turned up (CR was wasted, well I won't be surprised since she was drinking with her colleagues since lunch and Charles was hit by the flu bug, poor him) so it was a nice little group where everyone could sort of see and hear each other across the table. SR had to make alot of calls to get the bookings and menus sorted for us and thanks to him the evening ran smoothly. He even made a list of who ordered what to eat, which was brilliant, cos the sotong queen in me forgot what I had ordered, as usual. =P

The earlybirds met at the Leicester Square funfare before the dinner to catch some rides on an empty stomach. Jo and I went first for the washing machine ride, under the misconception that it is quite mild, because the platform was turning nice and slow but it turned out to be our worst nightmare because we forgot to factor in the guy they had positioned on the platform who spun us round and round manually. The spinning went so fast that Jo and I who were initially sitting beside each other ended up sitting right opposite each other in the donut-shaped seat with our hair in disarray and our neck aching from the ride. Well, next time I'll try to go later in the night when the 'spunner' was less full of energy. *LOL* We took the Merry-go-round horse/chicken rides next and then everyone went for the Bumper cars which was madly fun and reminded me of the bumber car rides I used to take with my cousins at Genting Highlands. =) oooh... i missed those times...

Well, here's a sample of the christmas dinner I had at Loch Fyne all for 30 pounds (incl. drinks). The restaurant gave us 1 bottle of free champaine and complementary crackers as well. =)

Starters: 6 fresh Loch Oysters. They actually taste better than sea oysters, less of that strong fishy sea smell, and the most important thing was they are fresh!!


Main: 1 whole grilled sea bass.... yummy.... well, I tried not to imagine the korean skin shredding suana treatment that Joan was sharing with us before the main course, using my (erhm..) table as an example....
Dessert: a slice of apple tart. As you can see, it's literally a slice... hahah... but it's nice. And there were toffee and coffee after that which I do not have pictures of.
And there we are, enjoying our dinner, and also the secret santa gifts that we've got for each other. Everyone had to pick a card and gets the present with the same number card placed on top.

Well, it was a great evening all in all, and a wonderful weekend up to saturday. I caught the stomach flu on sunday and threw up everything I ate, including my panadol, until I drank the lingyang cold/flu/fever herbal tea that 21 gave me when I visited her in May. I'm okay now, just a couple of days late for my blog updates. Anyway, I'm sure it wasn't the food on friday cos I was still alive and jumping on saturday but the fatigue over the last 2 weeks and being out in the cold on Saturday certainly took its toll. I look forward to a good rest this christmas holiday. =)

e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d

And...

Headache
Headache
Headache
Headache
Headache
Headache
Headache

Does this help?
http://www.headaches.org/

Animal fur trade

I wanted to cry when I watched this...

 

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=jcruel_china_dog&Player=wm&speed=_med

Ramblings of one stressed woman

I am so stressed that my new colleague saw me and exclaimed "This is one stressed woman!!" and my supervisor had to agree and said "I've never seen her truly relaxed before" and then I realised that other than my non-college friends who have seen me laughed or relaxed outside uni, it is not difficult for people who have only seen me in college to have the impression that I'm one uptight soul. Well yeah, I admit I'm one 1000% bloody stressed woman right now but it hasn't always been like this. I don't smile or laugh when I'm working seriously and born with a stern face, it's no surprise that I look fierce or stressed when I work. And I only see my supervisors when I run into problems or when we have our 4-5 hour group meetings every 1-2 months. Who wouldn't look stressed?

Maybe I'm upset that people can see that I'm stressed because I AM STRESSED. I'm stretched so thin and feel so hopelessly exhausted that I had to call MX for help on Monday. So, instead of heading back to the office after today's conference meeting, I spent two hours window shopping along Knightsbridge. It was jolly good. OK, ok, I did some shopping therapy as well, to make myself feel better but it's not some pair of expansive shoes this time, just a hand embroidered shawl from Tie Rack.

Actually, despite having to come back to office to make up for lost time tonight, I did enjoy today's conference very much, because all the speakers addressed something that I can relate to and I learnt something useful and important from each one of them. Other than the regular academics who talked about their work, we had representatives from Airbus and F1 who addressed the issues and challenges they faced with using composite materials and adhesive bonding as well. Their talks were informative and enlightening and I can go on and on about was presented at the conference here but I think this is the most important message I brought away with me today:

We fear not the strength, but the weaknesses of the materials employed.

Personally I fear the use of polymeric composites by people who only see the benefits of the material but are ignorant to their vulnerabilities. In fact, we all are. There is not one conclusive study that guarantees the long term durability of these materials and we are already employing them in critical primary structural applications. Is it a risk worth taking? Application without full appreciation and understanding of the material behaviour which by the way is unique to every composite system, is not only a highly dangerous activity but also an irresponsible one because it's failure will put millions of lives at risk. I just feel that the knowledge we have is insufficient for producing good system designs and the engineer in me just cannot trust my life on some guesswork regardless of how brilliant or experienced the designing team is. Furthermore, we are not talking about small one-off prototypes. We are talking about ambitious commercial products which themselves are prototypes and objects of experimental studies-in-process as it transport humans around the globe. Can we afford to trust a material that we know so little of, that is still being studied and characterised by labs worldwide, to last the 35-40 years like the good old, albeit heavy metal birds? I certainly do not wish to be a guinea pig on a commercial experiment.

Christmas drawing near...

LP was craving for some Jap food yesterday (so was I actually) and we went to have our fill of sashimi (and I also ordered oyaku don) last night. Feeling quite stuffed, we decided to walk off our dinner and came across the Chirstmas funfair set up at Leichester Square.

Check out those human size cuddly bears to be won!! Aren't they gorgeous?


And also this year's christmas tree at Trafulgar Square.

Stressed!!

The severity of my backlog at work has just dawned on me.

 

27 test cases,

8 sets of test conditions.

minimum 3 hours per case for extraction of data and analysis,

5 hours to summarise each condition,

lets forget about the report and other parallel jobs for the moment,

 

I need 121 hours to go through everything, that's 5+ days without sleep but I'm not crazy so maybe 8 days if I put in 15 diligent hours each day, leaving 2 days to submit my meeting report on time. 

 

Great. No wonder my subconscious has been bugging me that something is not quite right.

And I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO exhausted.

Enough already. 

 

 

 

SA deficiency (SAD?)

I was told by brother many years ago that my SA (short for 'situational awareness', some army term I presume) is very poor, and since I'm sort of staying alone overseas, I made a conscious effort to pay more attention to my surroundings to improve my SA level.

I thought I was doing a pretty good job until recently, I was told something that most of my colleagues figured out long ago. After sitting beside my charming singing friend in the office, THE PHONE, for 2 years and 7 months, I finally learnt how it communicates the source of the call. Apparently, if it is an internal call, the ringtone will be longer than the calls coming from an external source. I experimented with it and true enough, the ringtone was not only longer for internal calls, it was painfully, obviously, distinctly, ridiculously twice longer!! I have no idea how I failed to notice something THAT obvious in the past. :P

Well, well, well. I admit defeat. My brother has been right all along. (Oooohh.... I see someone grinning away!!) My SA is indeed hopeless. Maybe it is something that just comes naturally to some people. I was always impressed (I still am actually) with my brother's ability to remember routes, roads, junctions, locations, that sort of thing from a very young age. On our road trips to Malaysia, he could tell my mom if he has passed a certain place before, or if we have taken a detour at some junction before, etc etc, at the tender age of 4, while I, being much older and have taken more trips than him, still remember those roads simply as hours of never ending drive with either rubber, durian, palm oil or pineapple plantations on either side of the road. Now, that's REALLY pathetic huh?

What to do? I guess I will always be hopelessly ignorant about my surroundings... *LOL* It's just me. =)

What colour is Monday?

Shades of Happy Orange...

Heater

I finally went to Argos on Saturday to buy a mini oil radiator to put under my desk. My freezing days are finally over!!

LSO

Thanks to YS, I got to attend a LSO concert in Barbican on Saturday. It's a pity that the performance was the last of the Beethoven series or I would have attended them all. The orchestra played the technically demanding Trio Concerto and the Symphony No.6 so perfectly and beautifully that I felt it surpassed any of the RPO concerts I have been to. If this was not world class performance, I don't know what else is. Frankly speaking, the acoustics of the Barbican concert hall was much better than the Royal Albert Hall where I go for most concerts, so I will have to catch a RPO concert at Barbican as well in order to make a fair judgement.

Right on!

When buying presents and cards for one another, there are bound to be hits and misses and some in-betweens. Last week MX really surprised me by getting me something that I like totally and absolutely. A 100% Hit! It's just a hand phone trinket that he picked out on the recent trip but the size, colour, symbolism, practicality... everything was perfect. Well, accompanying it were a pair of black and red tinkling squashy demons that are more HIS TYPE of toys but they do look quite cute hanging side by side on my partition. They shall be my stress relievers. I've got permission to torture them and that's what I'm going to do when I'm mad.... bish-bash-grrrrr...



Blues....

No Cooling water

My machine tripped again this morning because there was no water supply to the lab. There used to be 4 pumps, but the building management decided to have only 2 to cut costs. The main pump was overworked and retired months ago and since then we were running on the backup pump. This poor thing had to supply water not only to half of our building but also service the new faculty building as well. It has been tripping so regularly that the maintenance guy was able to 'assure' me in a factual tone that "Oh, this is absolutely normal. It happens once or twice every week". Nice. Hmm... does anyone realise that NORMAL water pumps do NOT quit on a weekly basis.

The Blame Game

Some weeks ago I went over to another department to do some C-scans. The person in charge was very kind as to show me how to use it and also helped me change the probe when I had problems with the resolution on thicker panels. When he was operating the equipment to test if the new probe works, something loose fell into the tank and broke the glass panel. He got his fingers cut when he reached into the tank to pick up the fallen object and I felt really sorry for him then. Today, I got an email from my supervisor asking for the details of that accident. Apparently, my lab tech received an email requesting payment for the broken glass panel...

" have to inform you that a Mech Eng student has, albeit by accident, has caused the glass plate in the bottom of the c-scan tank to crack/break."

Why not ask me or my supervisor directly for compensation if it was my fault? Why not just name me directly? Why try explain for me... err... "albeit by accident"? That's really very kind, thank you.

I have given my supervisor the details and I am leaving it to him to handle this. Maybe I am being defensive and can't see the full picture right now but I have been pondering over this question the whole morning:

If the demonstrator broke something when showing the new user how to operate an equipment, who should pay for the damage?

I feel that we should not be paying for the damage at all as I did not cause the glass to break. But since it was my panels being scanned, and in order not to sour relations, I suppose it may be fair to pay for half the cost of the glass pane, but not the entire pane. I am unhappy because I feel that just because I am a student, I have been made a convenient scapegoat. It's just money that they want for replacing the panel. Ask or get money by charging us for the use of the c-scan. Please be fair and don't accuse me of something I did not do.

Dishwashing Liquids

My colleague, J, was researching on asthmatic causes and cures and told me a shocking use for dishwashing liquids. Apparently, one of the methods doctors use to clear blocked airways on babies during an asthma attack is by pumping fairy liquid into their lungs and then flushing out the soap quickly!

According to J, the surfactant in fairy liquid would spread out to form a very thin coating on the air passages and aveoli (tiny air sacs), reducing the surface tension and keeping the airways relaxed and open so that air can get in.

The theory sounds pretty acceptable to me but I’m not sure if medical practitioners do actually use any type of dishwashing liquids as a source of surfactant. I certainly hope doctors out there are using an alternative form of surfactant that has been clinically approved. Washing liquid is just too much for my vivid imagination. *shivers*

I suppose the use of dishwashing liquid is not entirely impossible, maybe it is even a First Aid method which I have not heard of. Faced with a situation where the baby in your care has stopped breathing during an asthma attack, and knowing that the nearest hospital is an hour’s drive away, would you administer first aid with soapy water? I suppose death via poisoning would take longer than suffocation and if you know of this option, you would actually, seriously, contemplate this choice indeed.

If I ever have a baby with asthma, I’ll tell the doc to do whatever he needs to do to keep my child alive but spare me the specifics cos I’ll probably go crazing visualizing someone pour soap down my baby’s throat!

[Disclaimer: Information provided here has not been verified! If you have a child at home who has a blocked airway, please seek professional medical help immediately and do not attempt anything stupid.]

Rudolph Factory

If there is one place in London that produces Rudolph impersonators more than a month before Christmas, it has to be my lab.

Anyone in there for more than 15 minutes will come out with a red nose - mostly runny, accompanied by rosy cheeks for more permanent residents in the lab. And most will exhale and smile on exit, unable to mask their relief and delight in leaving the human freezing chamber.

A fire door separates our working world into the two hemispheres, warm summer climate on one side, and cold freezing winter on the other. Unfortunately, our working labs belongs to the less welcoming climate.

There are heaters, but they have either retired, or just warm to the touch. The ventilation fan which draws in the 5ºC air from outside is the single most important yet most hated device, because without it, we will not be protected from carcinogenic volatiles, yet because our heaters have not been working for the past 3 winters, we're effectively working in outdoors temperatures.

There were 3 huge ovens running in the bonding lab today, I took the trouble to wear 2 layers but I still could not prevent my hands turning red from indoor frostbite. In fact, I can barely feel my toes.

Why does my workplace, the place that me and my colleagues spend at least 7 hours a day, have to be a torture chamber? *sob sob*

His and Hers

[Warning: sense of humour essential! un peu controversé, may be a tee too offensive to half the world's population]

This came into my mailbox today, courtesy of V…

“ Okay, Okay, it *finally* all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnocologist
AND
When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?
Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.
Send this to all the men just to annoy them…. ”

I know what's proclaimed here is a bit unfair coz I can think of instant retorts like HERnia, HEReditary dysfunctions, HERrmann’s syndrome and even HERpes, which no doubt some guys will waste no time in shooting back. But generally speaking, lots of women’s problems DO start with men. Son/ brother/ father/ boyfriends/ girlfriend's boyfriends/ guyfriends/ gay friends... yadar yadar... right ladies?

No wonder such kitchenwares are invented…

Yes, guys guys, don’t be shocked. This is an actual ‘award winning’ design by an Italian named Raffaele Iannello and it is out in the market selling for £59.95!! It’s known as the voodoo doll in some shops but this particular website decides to name it the "All men are bastards knife block", and it is actually selling, so I can only assume that some ladies must be using it to get a kick out of watching their ex-('s) reaction when being invited over for dinner!

Hey, relax, it's Friday, have a laugh... just sharing some fine things =) Don't take it too seriously okay?

Way to start a day

Friendly Mistake

This morning I met two girls who looked exactly like 2 other college friends of mine from the back... their hair colour, hair style, walking style, body shape were so identical that I did not have the slightest doubt. Although I found it a bit strange that they would be walking from the direction of Earl's Court, I went up to pat one of the ladies back nonetheless with a cheery "Good morning Sabine!". They turned out to be American tourists.

Rojak Dream

I made a motivational bet with SJ last night. Person who arrives later in their respective office today would treat the other person popcorn the next time we go to the movies. So I guess I didn't sleep really deeply and started having a concoction of dreams. Can't remember exactly what went on... there were flashes of Singapore life, friends, class outing, etc, but the last bit was so funny that it woke me up. Somehow I dreamt of my Thai friends B and N bringing us around Brighton (we promised to visit them) and then my cousin J'e appeared and toured with us. When we reached a place with loads of sofas (definitely not a living room, more like a showroom really), the girls sat down to rest and for no particular reason, my cousin challenged N to a sword fighting duel. N jumped up like he couldn't wait a minute longer and they started duelling and doing crazy somersaults (like the little boy in Notting Hill who was supposed to be a fantastic gymnast - I've just watched the deleted scenes from the movie) with fencing swords in their hands... rolling, taking cover and jumping all over the sofas (err, did I watched too much Zorro too?)... I laughed so hard that I heard myself laughing and woke up, still couldn't stop laughing. Hope I wasn't too loud. My neighbour might think I'm crazy. *LOL*
Maybe I am. *LOL*

Wasted

Wasted.
Another day.
Just because... my lab partner's bike tire punctured this morning, hence he was late.
Just because... I couldn't start because he held the keys to the cabinet which stores the equipments we need.
Just because... after he arrived, my lab partner and I kept popping into different labs, looking for each other throughout the morning.
Just because... I was constantly diverted to his voicemail, he didn't reply to my sms, called his office but he was not in.
Just because... we only managed to locate each other when I went back to office to email him at 1130.
Just because... finally at noon, we met in the lab but he realised that he left an important coupling at home.
Just because... he had to cycle home to get it (which I'm very very grateful for, otherwise I could not have gotten everything set up this afternoon and commence testing tomorrow)
Just because... I spent 2 hours after lunch setting up the lighting, background, various maxillary equipments and configuring the machine.
Just because... lab closes at 4.30pm but I was asked to pack up at 4pm.
I want to work, but work doesn't get done and 8 hours just slips by effortlessly.
Freaking irritating.

Knee Pains

I shall try to stop teasing someone about his knee pain after today.

After running my usual 2.5 miles last night, I got a taste of what old age might be like. My right knee hurts particularly badly whenever I climb the stairs. At this rate, I might need invasive help before I'm 30.

Should I start using knee supports? Don't really like them because they tend to restrict movement and sometimes bloodflow. I'll risk spraining my ankle again if I lose feeling to my feet.







Or consider cupping therapy ?

Zorro'05

Caught the Legend of Zorro with YS last night and oh boy, it was SO good. Haven't laughed so much in ages. The lines are funny and I enjoyed every moment of it. In fact, I'm planning to watch it again with J or LP, perhaps sometime later this week.

And, I was charmed by this beautiful boy actor - Adrian Alonso. Think he is born in 1994 which makes him 11 years old, but he can sure act. Never saw a more expressive face in a child actor and also his cheeky grins and bright eyes just makes me want to ruffle his hair and play hide and seek with him. If I have a son like that I'll quit my job and stay home... *LOL*.... just dreaming....

Awww.... cute right? ... and he can put up a good fight too and do back flips, etc... the directors really created an awesome character out of him....

Another film:
I found Tim Burton's Corpse Bride quite a disappointment though, the funny bits not funny enough, scary parts not scary enough and the romantic part not romantic enough. I remembered being more impressed with the sound system in the shaftsbury cinema than the film... haha...

Anyway, if you have time for only 1 movie, I highly recommend ZORRO!! Lots of action and punch lines - you'll not be disappointed. =)

Lets Party!!

We had a hall reception party yesterday and there was a fabulous variety of food cooked by the enthusiatic residents. Spanish Paella, curry chicken, Japanese soya chicken, steamed pork in black bean sauce, chicken rice, korean vermicelli salad, delicious thai nibbles that I've never seen before, sweet corn salad, canadian maple-sourcream with sweet potato, lots of drinks, and clotted cream cake are just a sample of the dishes we had. There are some which I can't put a name to, so I left them out. I guess this is what makes staying in an international hall so enjoyable.



My contribution was the ever popular but humble agar agar, which came out looking dirty green instead of bright green because I forget about the colour effect brown suger has (not shown, cos too ugly but the hall people didn't mind cos I guess they have no idea what agar agar should looks like *LOL*) And also the hainanese chicken rice (pictured above, the 3 trays garnished with cucumber) which took me and WY 5 hours to prepare.

I owe my successful maiden attempt to this wonderful recipe from the website:
http://www.recipezaar.com/133760

Their fresh chili and ginger sauce is so easy to prepare and taste absolutely fantastic. Don't save on the lime, especially for the ginger sauce. I didn't know beforehand that adding chicken stock would make such a great and positive difference to the taste and I highly recommend chili lovers to try making it!

Many thanks to Elgin for lending me his big pot - opps, still in my room - ah well, hope he is not in urgent need for it.

Happy Halloween too!! Wonder if there will be any early fireworks tonight. =)

Hair Growing Diary no more

Xiao mai cao tou did have an enviable crown, but her nutritious scalp also attracted exotic species of green and grey mould. Regretfully, I had to say goodbye to my dear little friend.
Well, to be PC, it was a matter of circumstances, as I have no idea how to eradicate those spore spewing growths and my immune system is barely coping with the newest onslaught of flu viruses. (How cruel!! *sob sob* I still can't believe I did it!) She was a great companion and I had fun taking care of her while it last. To preserve her dignity, I shall not post any last pictures.

ps: MX, I'm so sorry I failed to sustain her for a year.

Accidentally branded

Check out my 127 degree celcius hexnut scar. (Hmm... the hexagon not really obvious here)


This is an exemplary demonstration of why lab coats should always be worn,
Even for a quick 1 minute job of removing jigs from ovens.
Gloves are inadequate if they do not reach the elbows.

I realise that burn marks do not go away quickly.
I got that 5 days ago and it seems to like my skin alot.
I hope it is not thinking of applying for PR.

In my attempt to find a picture of a hexnut for the benefit of those who can't tell apart peanuts, coconuts, cashewnuts, and inedible nuts, I came across this cartoon...

Code Red

OFFICE ON ALERT! SICK MAN LURKING AROUND!

Last Sunday:
At 10pm, a MAN was walking down the flight of stairs that can lead nowhere else but to my office only. My friend was on his way up and out and threw him a curious stare. THE MAN turned and trailed my friend all the way out. My friend thought he was saved when they bumped into security, and reported that he did not know this guy who was following him. But THE MAN acted like he was with my friend and they are good buddies fooling around, so the security guard did not take my friend seriously.

Previous week:
My colleague's undergraduate brother and friends were approached by THE MAN in the common computer lab. THE MAN claimed that he was a postgrad. THE SICK MAN asked if they will like to get together sometime for some sick pleasure. Of course my friend's brother declined.

Last night:
At around half past 8pm, THE SICK MAN appeared again. He walked into the office and was stopped by the same friend who was followed on Sunday. When asked what he was doing there, THE SICK MAN said he was a final year undergraduate on exchange program and as a student he can access any room in the college he likes. He couldn't produce a student ID. He did comply by stepping out of the office, but did not leave immediately. He then asked my friend privately if he can let him "**** his ****". Other than my offended friend, only W and I (both ladies) were still working in the office, so we decided to lock ourselves in and also left college together after that.

Because I've been working in the lab, and also sitting at the far end of the office, I've not seen THE DISGUSTING AND SICK MAN personally and only know that he is about 1.65m tall and looks oriental.

It is quite usual to find spare/odd rooms being turned into offices for postgrads here. In my department for instance, PG offices can be found in rooms hidden behind the laboratories, the reprographic room or on the roof level abut the boilers. Hence, like most postgrad offices, mine is also quite a well hidden secret. No one else other than the 20 people working here, the cleaners, and an occasional student on appointment would come in here. Usually we keep an eye out for strangers because things have been stolen from this office before and there are also digital equipments and micro-processors sitting around.

We think it is quite unlikely that THE MAN was just prowling around for like-minded homo-friends. His lewd suggestions may just be a diversion so that he can check places out. It'll not be difficult to break into my office now as building contractors have torn down the wall on the south-end and there are paved scaffoldings outside the north-end windows. In any case, the stairs leading to my office is also a fire escape route that leads two more floors down to a dead end unless one breaks the fire alarm. And no one ventures there - normally. If someone hides there, nobody knows. That's the real danger and that's what I worry about. Since he had unabashedly expressed his preferences, the masculine population in my office have to be really careful as well.

Goggle Trouble

Another reason to go back to my tropical sunny paradise...

I broke my specs during shower (sigh... again...) a few weeks back and went to check the price of making a new one today. Below is a break down of the cost of making a pair here...

Eye check-up: 18 pounds
1 pair of lens: 250 pounds (for super thin lens, coz I'm more than half-blind and if the lens are any thicker I'll be wearing goggles...)
An additional pair of corrected sunglasses: 29 pounds (might as well get, otherwise 'bo-hua' [not economical])
Frames: I forgot to ask, but lets presume it is 50 pounds

So total cost (1 glasses + 1 sunglass)
= 18+250+29+50
= 347 GBP
= 1041 SGD !!!

Well, that's almost 1 month rent and I can fly home with that kind of money or sponsor a (erhm...) someone to fly over. Make more sense to save up for my convo yah? Nonetheless, I was intrigued to do an online search for the cost of LASIK procedure at SNEC and if I go for the wave-front guided LASIK, it'll cost me 3275 SGD (1092 GBP). My college friend, D, just went for the procedure in a private clinic in London for about 2000 GDP. So it is still cheaper back home.

Abiding by the scout motto, "Always be prepared" (see, TY, I did listen ok?), I never make camp overseas without my life saver, the same old fashion, gold rim, big frame, 1997 vintage glasses that I relied on in 2002 when the same accident happened. So I'm not walking around blindly when I'm home and I still have a comfortable 6 months lead time to restock my contact lenses for my daily activities. =) But every night, when I look into the mirror wearing that vintage goggles of mine, I can't help but laugh at my silly reflection and wonder how I survived looking like that back then.

It is always healthy to have a good laugh at the end of the day. =)

Nobel Inspiration

Today we had the honour of having Prof. Richard R. Schrock at Imperial for his very first post-Nobel lecture. The lecture was so over subscribed that YS, CY and I had to cram into one of the LT's aisle steps but it was worth the stiff limbs. He was in town by invitation to deliver the Sir Edward Frankland Award Lecture of the Royal Society of Chemistry, which is one of the highest honour to be awarded to any chemist in this part of the world. He was awarded this year's Chemistry Nobel Prize for his work on 'development of the metathesis method in organic synthesis'. I quote because I'm not chemistry-savvy and I won't do him justice if I don't get it correct, so there.

He didn't give a talk about the work he is now famous for, but did his uni a huge advertising favour by telling us that we can download the full lecture from the MIT website. (I did a google search, and there were over 200,000 hits on him, is this guy famous or what? *of course he is, he won a Nobel prize, silly!*) but he did entertain us with an excellent lecture on another brunch of his work which involves di-nitrogen reduction to ammonia via a postulated catalytic pathway which involves a complicated looped sequence of protons and electrons additions. Well, unfortunately that's as much as I understood anyway, this being my first chemistry lecture since 1997. :P He came up with the pathway and spent years (we are looking at 10-20 years?) proving it, and to date they have managed to isolate and prove the existence of 8 out of 14 intermediates and he reckons it'll take another 20 for this pathway to be fully characterised.

This is what amazes me. The ability of some researchers and scientists to keep themselves highly motivated and continuously interested in their work. Even though a certain part may have stumped them for years, they will revisit it eventually. Giving up and letting the problem rest is never their motto. Will I be able to spend my entire life proving a certain thing that perhaps I am the only one in the universe interested in it? There are so many scientists out there doing their thing, prodding along independently, poking at unanswered or unimportant issues that no one gives a damn for until a certain call at 5am in the morning congratulates them of their win and an hour later everyone wants to know you. How many people would remember Prof. Schrock or even Greg Miller (neuticles research) if they did not receive any Nobel prize or even an Ig Nobel prize? (for experiments that cannot or should not be repeated)

Meeting Prof. Schrock today brings back fond memories of a certain CivEng professor at Berkeley who finds it difficult to stop working over lunch. Whenever my project group visits him at lunchtime he would be happy for the audience and describe eagerly to us the recent topic of his research and his eyes would literally twinkle. We have to let him express all that excitement before we can get down to discussing matters that we came for. Needless to say, his lunch was usually forgotten. I used to think he was quite a workaholic but now I know better. There is huge a difference between working under obligation and working for new discoveries. Stress hormones drives the gears in the first but pure adrenaline gets the latter going.

I hope that one day I can have that adrenaline driven enthusiasm like my Berkeley professor and exhilarate in the experience.

Not too bad

Well well, this week did not turn out to be too bad after all. I survived the 20hr work days and the 6hr meeting. Just want to jump into bed and catch up on my sleep right now. Don't think I made any sense to talking to LP over dinner last night and my responses had a 3sec. delay but it was good to see her again.

Received one of NL's famous care packages mid-week too, and the snacks she sent fueled my work past midnight. Care packages (that's what she calls them) contain local food or items that can help ease homesickness. I remembered finding bottled soya bean drink and Qoo in the last package she sent. This time round there are 5 different sauces used in local dishes and she even sent me vitamins and two mooncakes!! Awww.... sweet isn't she? =) Although the full moon was weeks ago, I really appreciate it. Now my primary mission (after catching up on sleep of course) is to find some live crabs, a brave guy/girl who is not afraid to kill crabs, and cook chili crab with the condiments she has sent! hee hee... but crappy pple need not apply. =P

One of my friends will be acting the lead role for a play next weekend. Wonder how he finds time to juggle his sub-wardening duties, the rehearsals and his research at the same time. =) Sounds like fun! (check it out below)

Panic Attack

The start of the academic year is often a time to rejoice for me, as friends return from their summer holidays with stories to share, and the new school year promises of more activities to come.

However, this year also spells the end (I HOPE and DREAD with equal intensity) of my student life. I can't sleep. I feel that I've not been working hard enough. I've really not produced much to show for the past 2 years. There are so many thing I should have understood by now but I do not.

Suddenly, my life is filled with so many hows...
How can I finish my experiments in time?
How can I find time to read all the current papers?
How can I clear my backlogs?
How can I learn Abacus in 3 months and squeeze in modeling work?
How long do I actually need to finish?
How long should I extend my visa?
How can I find time to go to the gym when I knock off at 9 every night?
How can I maximize my time without suffering from fatigue?
How often can I turn down invitations without becoming anti-social?
How can I fulfill those promises to visit XX places with YY people?
How can I even think of having fun when there is work to do?
How can I find time to study?
How can I pass my viva?
How? How? How?

And then, there are also many 'I should have'...
I should have spent more weekends in college
I should have played less spider solitaire
I should have taken less time with my transfer report
I should have gone into the lab more often and not sit at my desk doing analytical work
I should have read more papers over the weekends
I should have just forget about politeness and pressurize people to deliver
I should have been more constructive with my time when waiting for materials to be delivered.

This is obviously a panic attack. (Maybe I'll make a better psychologist than a researcher)
I can anticipate a state of mental paralysis, a wave of depression, a sense of helplessness approaching. Hopefully, when the dawn breaks tomorrow I'll be too numb to feel, and can just get in to college to work, work, work, and deliver. Hopefully the equations I'm reading now will make sense and look less scary tomorrow. Hopefully.

Darn, I'm really tired. And this is only the 1st day of term.

Great Memories...

It has been awhile since I came online, so lots to update. Have been away to visit 21 in Freiburg, then onwards to a quaint little alpen town for conference. Now I'm happily back in Londonshire yearning for normalcy in my life again.

Hilarious 'Doomsday'
Is it even a statistical possibility that 4 people hanging out together can each have a different accident in 15 hours?

Victims: 21, 23, 24 & Marc, 21's german friend and our unofficial tour guide. (21 is the host, all friends who visits her are branded with a new number by Marc, so I'm 23 and harrie is 24.)

The calm before the storm:
On our 2nd night in Freiburg, we had dinner under the starlight on 21's landlady's balcony. The dinner was superb, and everyone was sitting around the table feeling happy and content, listening to the wind rushing in from black forest, chatting about anything and everything, enjoying the darkness of the city and the brilliance of the stars, sipping honey beer, I must say it was the most relaxing day I had in ages and it's no wonder we didn't move till past midnight =)

1st accident: 23's Blueberry Bottoms
It as almost 1am when we decided that it's getting cold and we should bring the dishes downstairs for washing. Feeling sleepy and eager for a warm shower, I happily juggled plates and cutlery in 1 hand and bottles in the other, and treaded lightly down the well worn stairs of the 100 year old house, trying not to wake 21's neighbours with the creaking floorboards. As I started on the 2nd flight of stairs, "wooish... BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM... klang-ang-ang-ang" That's me slipping and bouncing down the stairs till the very bottom. It all happened so fast that all I remembered was a voice screaming in my head "Don't drop the plates! Don't drop the plates!" Well I didn't drop them, but a fork hopped off at the very end. Not that it matters because the sound my bums made could have woken up the entire street. When 21 and 24 found me I was bent over and laughing very hard at the freak accident that has just happened and even harder when I saw their concerned/confused looks because I didn't think they'll believe me. I came away with blueberries bums for souveniors (which 21 and 24 were curious to see but I won't let them) and a sprained back for 1.5 weeks. 24 kindly pointed out that I could have just dropped the plates and saved myself. Now, why didn't I think of that?

2nd accident: Petite Herculeza
21 wanted us to have proper dinner before we leave Freiburg in the evening so she woke up really early to cook dinner for us before we even started on breakfast. Her pans are not teflon coated, hence some rice was burnt at the bottom and we had to air the room. Windows in old german houses can either be opened sideways like normal doors, or leaned inwards, pivoting on the lower edge like an oven door. There is a mechanical fitting that allows the opening modes to be switched. So 21 left her room to open the windows by the stairs and never came back. Then 24 went to check on her and a few minutes later I heard someone call my name and I went to have a look. Well, what do you know? The window that 21 tried to open fell out of its hindges and 21 had been supporting the huge century old thick glass window with solid wooden frame all by herself until 24 came along! The window was so wide that 21 can barely wrap her fingers around it and it took the combined strength of all 3 of us to lower it onto the ledge and out of harms way. It was a good thing that the window didn't become killer litter or shatter on 21 in the process. As they say, never judge a person by her size. I'll trust this powerfully little friend to save a window any day.

3rd accident: Stubborn Big Toe
Marc came over and fixed the window before prepping us up for a cycling trip out of the town. We followed the river northwards through the valley and for miles and miles there were people like us, cycling leisurely in the sun, stopping at a nice spot along the river to play with the water or nap in the sun. Many parents were cycling with kiddie tricycle-playpan in tow and there was also an amusement campsite set up on the outskirts of the city where kids were playing in pools and parents were sitting around having bbq. We cycled all the way out of town and took a break in the shade when the river touches the skirt of a forest. Marc took off his sandals and slip into the cool river water eagerly but he could go no further after his first step. His big toe was cut by a piece of broken glass in the river and it appears that it was the only piece there. Oh dear, what a day, we need a shamlock!! After being 'rescued' from the river by 3 ladies, he stubbornly refused to apply pressure on his wound to stop the bleeding until 21 took a tissue and pressed it fiercely. 21 must have used quite a bit of strength cos after that Marc was like a obedient little boy holding his big toe and sitting on the grass with 3 oriental girls chatting merrily away beside him. Two old ladies strolled by and mutted something in German which made Marc blush. I wondered what they said.

4th accident: Lora Ho in action
After the toe incident, we managed to find a beer garden right smack in the middle of the valley which serves authentic black forest cherry cake and lovely ice-cream. Thereafter, we took a short-cut back to the city. Marc stopped by the side of a glider plane airstrip to show us the motor which draws the cable that pulls the planes airborne. As he turned around and the rest of us braked behind him, he watched in horror as 24 flew into the air and did a spectacular forward sommersault over her bike!! Miraculously, she survived with abrasions and to her arms and chin and no broken bones. There were one blue-black spots above her knee on each leg, marking the spot where they collided the handlebars. There were no tears or whines as 24 checks her wounds and explained that she had been lost in her thoughts and only noticed that we've stopped at the very last second. By mistake, she pressed the front brake lever and the next thing she knew was she was flying. Marc said her quick reflex and amazing performance reminded him of Lora Croft and that was how 24 got the idea of going to back to work the next day in an all black, sleeveless outfit to show off her battle wounds. :) Incredulously, she was still able to give 21 a haircut in the afternoon and the only complaint I've heard from her was how her butt ache after all that cycling.

I still find it quite unbelieve that all those crazy stuff could happen to us in one single day. Accidents are not usually embraced with much enthusiam but we all had our personal little misfortunes and shared some good laughs and I guess because 21, 24 and Marc were such great company that our 'doomed' sunday became sort of amazingly fun.

In the event of fire...

I'm so used the typical fire escape notices (i.e. floor plan with 'YOU ARE HERE' red dot and green arrows to show how to get to the nearest fire exit stairways) that I had to read this one twice before it registered...

Funny thing was, I was on the ground floor and I could just jump out of the balcony, experience a terrifying 1 metre freefall and end up on the streets. =) Funny folks, those Swiss in Les Diablerets. But on hindsight, the people who parished in the Paris fires died of smoke inhailation while trapped in the stairways, so the notice above is rather sensible.

Ahh, my favourite picture of the lot. Who can resist the Alps??

Hair Growing Dairy - Day 10

Now, that's 3 inches of organic grassy hair in 10 days.
Envious? *LOL*

Oh, come on!

Grow Up.

Already past QC and still sulking like a kid.

Damn.

So spoilt.

Get over it.

Hair Growing Dairy - Day 9

Looking better by the day doesn't she?

Well, maybe a little on the wild side... LOL... but at least all the holes on her sculp are now nicely filled.

She will be having another growth spurt today as the sun is merciless... 30 degress... can you imagine? Makes me crave for a chilled pint of beer. Too bad I can't drink. Gives me a headache the next day.

I wonder how much hair Xiao Mai Cao Tou can support on her little head.

I'm guessing at least 6-7 inches before she topples over.

Hair Growing Dairy - Day 7 & 8

After a long wait of 7 days, Xiao Mai Cao Tou finally sprouted some hair!!!


Didn't realise that it takes almost a week for wheatgrass to germinate.

I thought it was only going to take 2-3 days like green and red beans.











And a day later ... more hair!!



















That's the little tub I put her in. Used to hold cherry tomatos which is one of my favourite snacks by the way. Made sure she was well hydrated before I left for college this morning. Hmm... perhaps I should have taken the trouble to rearrange the seeds before I started soaking her cos it looks like she is going to get some facial hair in the next couple of days... well, nothing that a pair of scissors wouldn't solve... hee hee

Departures

Yet another friend is returning to Lyon.

Although I have learnt not to get too attached to the people I meet in this fluid academic circle, I'll miss her friendly face in the lab and so will many in her lunch group I believe.

With very best wishes I shall send off this friend.

Unusual Clinic Activities?

I've just re-read the intro that I wrote for hebetudeclinic and realised what an unusually high number of blog entries I have this month. The postings are most certainly not 'once in few moons' though it's true that I have been spending alot of my time in front of the square box. *LOL*

Oh well, what the heck. September might be a drought period since I shall be away, so won't bother changing it for the moment.

ps: nothing has changed except I've taken to emailing my posts, though I've not figured out if I can do the same with the pictures. So there.

Hair Growing Dairy - Day 0

May I introduce you...
my new companion from Cameron highlands...

<-- Xiao mai cao tou (quite cute isn't she?)

Fancy her coming all the way here to grow her hair... *chuckle* Perhaps the cooler weather is more agreeable? Well, well, we shall have to wait and see...

With all good intentions to help her settle in and make her comfortable,



1. First, I washed her cute little stubby feet...









2. Next comes the head









3. Then full front dip









4. Read somewhere that increased bloodflow to the sculp can encourage hair growth, so there you go, the classic yoga move...










5. And finally, a nice long soak in the water bath. But oh dear, she does look quite miserable... poor little thing... maybe my special welcome spa package was too much for her...









Nevermind. I'm sure she'll be all smiles again when her hair starts sprouting... heehee...

DC Nychthemeron

As they always say about new words, use it or lose it, so I have been thinking of something meaningful to write about the new word I've learnt today:

Nyc(h)themeron = a 24-hour period, comprising of day and night segments.
DC = roman numeral representation of 600.

So there you go, 600 cycles of days and nights.

That will be the number of days I am with MX tomorrow.

He reminded me on more than one occasion that everyday we spend together is special and we should treat each day like an anniversary, celebrate every moment we share, and though I accept his view on this, it has not stopped me from creating special occasions to celebrate.

After all, we will only share 600 nychthemerons once. Just like age, the number will only grow with time, only the more the merrier! :D

So while our 601 nychthemerons may not be any different from our 599 nychthemerons, it's still a humble milestone in our lives, a testament to our budding romance and the foundation to a future of many more cycles of days and nights to come.

Black Tops Day

How weird is it?

Today I woke up to the sound of rain. Not the usual London drizzle but the November monsoon rain we have back home. The smell of wet grass and humidity. The dark grey sky. The stubborn pitter-patter of tiny raindrops on a mission to last till sunset, and till sunrise if they can.

Today I wore a black top. Just picked it out for no particular reason. It was the first long-sleeve top that caught my eye as I scanned through my wardrobe this morning. Better to be wearing sleeves as it might be cold I thought.

Today all the ladies in my office came in black tops. That makes 5 of us, not counting in the lucky V who is back home in summer Greece now getting a tan. For all we know she might be wearing a black spaghetti dress. After lunch, a girl from another section walked into my office also dressed in black. Whoa, that is too much of a coincidence. I had to email G and J about this and ask them what they are wearing.

Today my friends wore black tops too. J had a red belt but I told her that doesn't count. Without accessories, she is still theoretically wearing black. As a joke I suggested asking the only guy in our little group what he is wearing today. It doesn't seem fair to leave C out of our e-conversations just because the entire discussion is about girls in black tops.

Today, C informed us he wore a striped black shirt to work. But C NEVER wears black. I've never seen him in even a black T-shirt before. That aside, this is getting ridiculous and also a little freaky.

Feeling stifled by the lack of colour already? I am. But should I be surprised by the trend? No. Londoners dress according to weather I suppose. Winter months spells the end to the luminous pink and wild orange that people don the moment they smell signs of a sunny day. You can literally read the seasons by the colour people wear more than the thickness of their coats. It felt like summer is over already and everyone is mourning in their black tops. Where is that second heat wave they promised? Will I get to wear my favourite sandals tomorrow?

I name today the Black Tops Day. I hope I'll keep it in my memory because the next time I wake up to rain, I promise to wear something shockingly bright. :D

Body Balance

I've just been to this really cool gym class recently that is a fusion of Taichi, Pilates and Yoga moves, all synchronised to a great selection of songs.

Usually, I prefer non-committal exercises like jogging which gives me the autonomy of deciding when and how much I want to exercise each time. I do sign up for classes once in a while, to try out new programmes, but none has got me as excited as this Body Balance class which I eagerly look forward to every week. Most of my gym classes get boring after a while and some are just not enjoyable.

Say yoga for instance, the meditation is great, but I hate the oils. And the current teacher is too ambitious with the pace for me, not giving my muscles enough time to stretch and for me to find my core, hence usually leaving me feeling flustered instead of fulfilled and relaxed after the lessons.

The Pilate class is better, lots and lots of stretching, really helped with my posture and strengthening all those unused muscles that I never knew existed, but the teacher doesn't teach much beyond the basic level so there was no incentive to return to class.

The body balance class is just a new thing I have tried out of curiosity, admittedly being sceptical about fusion stuffs in general, but the teacher never fails to amaze me with her creativity with the moves. She reinvents the movements every months, so there is always something new to pick up and perfect every eight lessons. Her moves are simple and elegant, choreographed with the grace and understanding of balance you would expect from a ballerina, and the beauty of them lies in the ease of adjusting the difficulty level.

And the music... oh, her marvellous choice of music is a mixture of soft rock, jazz, Celtic, nature... all blending in nicely with the exercises and setting a suitable rhythm. I am sure I'll miss her music if I ever go back to attending one of the Yoga or Pilate classes. I have never been disappointed in her classes so far and they always make me feel fulfilled with all the stretching and surprisingly alert and relaxed.

Well, in this case I think the teacher has to be given the greatest credit for making the class enjoyable and for sustaining my interests. There are just so many activities supposedly good for us out there but very often I find myself lacking the discipline to following them through. And of course some pursuits are just not worth our commitment these days so I'm really glad that I've finally found one that is both beneficial for me and also immensely enjoyable. I don't think commitment or discipline becomes much of an issue when I find something I like because I look forward to doing it so much. Maybe people feel stressed about the activities they plan for themselves because they don't genuinely enjoy doing them.

I am a...

Swa-ku...
Frog in well...
Naff...
Outdated...

eBlogger!!
Never realise I could just email an entry directly into my account. *eyes rolling*
Well, it this email thingie works, then I might consider writing in once in a couple of sunny days, subjected to weather changes of course! ...LOL

Sweet little things from HL

Chocolate Chip and Brownie

What does activity filled weekends mean?

I miss my solitude weekends!!
2 precious days of sleeping in late, curling up with a book, making a series of phone calls to hear the voice of people I care about is all I want to do sometimes.

A change in lifestyle or old habits can be such a pain. It has only been 2 months since I started striving for a more balanced weekend, i.e. going by the "one day out and one day home" rule of thumb, and I'm already pinning for my die-hard habits. Not that I don't enjoy the activities that I've added to my schedules so far... lets see: 2 movies, 3 cookouts, 1 house-warming, 1 BBQ, 1 open-air concert (by the way I watched one of Ibrahim Ferrer's last shows in London before he passed away after completing his Europe tour. He was 94 I believe.), 1 dedicated shopping day and well, 1 day stuck in my bed taking my own sweet time devouring HP6. Aha! That's not technically a "one day out" activity, but I consider it as a 'date' with Harry Potter (I meant the character, not Daniel! I'm not a phedophile!), and needless to say, I re-read the whole book on Sunday... hehe...

And for the coming weeks, I have badminton this weekend, BBC Proms, hopefully salsa classes next week, a tim-sum gathering in the planning as we speak, a trip planned for Freiburg to visit a dear old friend, a trip weekafter to Geneva, another cookout (this time by yours truly), 1 weekend to show some new friends around and dear Mummy and Big-Aunt might be visiting so my social life sounds jolly well planned out so far. (if no more incidents happen in London that is! *touchwood*)

So what exactly does activity filled weekend means?

- I'm too used to 2 rest days a week, hence I tend to oversleep on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday, till it's Saturday again.
- Going out in the afternoon means I'll miss the 'talking window' with my loved ones back home when they come home from their activities.
- Whatever happened to my "one day college, one day home" weekend plan that is supposed to help me finish up and relocate back home faster?
- The more I'm out, the more I want to lock myself in my room. Am I suffering withdrawal symptoms? *gasps*
- I think I just sooooo miss my usual weekend habits that my system is craving for some old normacy, which I also think makes me a more introverted person, so that's a no-go-zone.
- Excessive craving for hometime also makes me help out more with the sales slump problem in UK with the secret hope that when I dry up my reserves, I'll have no financial means to go out. Good for the economy. Bad for my pockets.
- I've lessened my obsessions with sudoku and spider solitare. (wouldn't want to end up like that Korean guy who died from exhaustion after playing 3 days of online game would I?)

So what am I going to do?

Oh, isn't that obvious? The weekends have already been planned out! I'll stick to them of course, and in due time, I shall think less and get out more for a healthier me. =)

HOT HOT HOT

No, I'm not referring to bikini clad babes
or Mexican chilies
I'm talking about Celsius and Fahrenheit
About scorching sun and UV attacks
Hey, we are in the middle of a heat wave!!!

Funny how in the early 1990s we were reminded year after year about the huge ozone hole and the reduced ozone layer hanging over our heads, and all those talk about unfiltered harmful uv rays that could lead to genetic mutation and skin cancer…
It is common knowledge that if a similar hole develops over the arctic, millions of people will be affected, hence the rush to cut back on CO2 emissions and CFC use.
Well, I was still back home in the tropics when I read about these issues but having stepped onto this country 7 years ago I’ve not read a single article devoted solely to this topic, only mild references here and there, which is kind of surprising to me.

The general public is aware that governments are taking steps to cut down emissions and conserving energy thanks to the Kyoto agreement, but surely the amount of ozone continues to decrease with all the extra cars on the roads and power plants popping up globally? Yes, the hole has not yet formed over the arctic, but it IS forming, and the radiation we are getting is increasing by the day, so shouldn't residents here be more concerned and cautious?

It’s not like all the extra trees planted are sufficient to absorb the 20-30 years worth of carbon dioxides pumped into the atmosphere right? Even with all our efforts to stem harmful emissions, the hole will take more than half a century to repair itself. Fossil fuel is such a blessing and yet such a curse sometimes… the natural state of things is all about balance, the yin and yang, its like if you are feeling damn lucky right now, someone must be having really bad luck… sorry, really bad analogy... ;P

So, back to the discussion... shouldn’t we be updated on the size of that hole regularly or how thin that layer hanging over our heads is becoming?
Well, I for one do care about how much radiation I’m getting, especially since I believe the layer protecting me from above is depleting by the minute and I will greatly appreciate that information to be offered periodically to the public to remind them of the dangers and keep everyone up to date.

Maybe it is not that people don’t care anymore.
Maybe it’s news fatigue.
People just want to get on with their lives and enjoy their sunbaths at the beach, bbqs on their lawns, without being reminded that they may die of skin cancer doing something they enjoy.
But it’s a choice for us to expose ourselves to danger, those who know. I worry when I see parents let their children run around in singlet and shorts, getting their exposed skin red from sunburn. The children sunblock lotions are so mild that I wonder if it is ever enough.

Anyway, it’s a hot hot hot time now and despite the whole uv issue, I’m going to enjoy it while it last.
It is a time to enjoy chilled lemonade, sit on warm sunbathed grass and have bbqs with friends.
Best of all, it reminds me of home, the not so pleasant but nostalgic sticky humid weather that I grew up with and will be reacquainted with in a couple of years time.

Mystery Presents

Twinkling stars dropping from the sky,
Ivory moon shining pristine bright,
Snowcapped mountains peaking high,
Seaside breeze with whisper so light…

Ocean waters crystal blue,
Golden sunrays awakening blooms,
Oh darling, I really don’t have a clue,
But having you here will be a dream come true.


Today, my darling asked me to guess what birthday presents (emphasis on the 's') he has prepared for me. I am really happy because I wasn't expecting anything else since he is already flying 14hrs across the globe to spend time with me on my birthday. Anyway, I've already been toying with this idea of what I want for my birthday - to be wrapped in his arms for hours and hours and when I look up, I catch a glimpse of his dimple and his charming smile.

A heavenly day it will be.

Frustration

When one is frustrated and need an outlet, but cant find any outlet,...
Is it better to turn frustration into anger or settle into depression???

Past:
I've always been a pessimistic person, not pessimistic to the point of wanting to end my life (I love myself too much to do that and still quite sane), but dully pessimistic nonetheless. The kind of pessimism that accompanies depression, constantly finding myself in a low-energy state, lacking interest in anything and would just be happy if everybody leaves me alone. Life was lived one day at a time, yesterday means nothing more than tomorrow. No energy, no soul, no dreams cos nothing matters....

Present:
A deviation from the past, my frustration has been channelled into a thick pool of anger. For someone who had been described as having 'zen-like qualities' I think many would be shocked to find me as I am now, stunning unknowing victims with uncontrolled lightning discharges, friends and foes alike. I've never let myself be so angry for so long before. I'm undecided if I should allow myself to continue in this state, or find a new one. For one, I'm reluctant to give up this state so easily now because I am feeling alive again. I am affected by emotions that has not been felt in ages. I no longer find it difficult to wake up early for work nor feel the lethargy that hangs over my every movement. My bubbling angry energy needs an outlet which I have been pouring into my work and yielding impressive results. Not surprisingly, my relationships did suffer a setback. Nobody likes their head to be snapped off on a Monday morning, more than hearing somebody moan about how bad their day had been. This is not an ideal state to keep up for the long run, as what is life without friends, without people who care to share my highs and lows, my success and my failures?

Need:
A better way of venting my frustration.

Regret:
In the course of finding myself, my supporting, loving bf has been on the receiving end of many of my outbursts, something I'm not proud of. I hope our relationship is strong enough to withstand the test of time, distance and emotional turmoils. Love you darling.

Datelines

In the past, humans hunt and gather fruits for survival
In mordern times, humans rush to meet all sorts of datelines for survival
No kidding.

There are the ever familiar homework datelines for school children,
project datelines for older students,
all sorts of work datelines for modern era office soldiers,
policy datelines, payment datelines, tax filing datelines,
application datelines, performance review datelines,
tenure datelines, medical check-up datelines
holiday booking datelines, refund datelines,
best offer datelines, renovation datelines,
paper submission datelines, thesis submission datelines,
birthday, christmas, anniversary shopping datelines
nomination datelines, election datelines, duh duh duh

Then when you think you've experienced all of it,
you start worrying about your kid's homework datelines,
project datelines, and so on...

Well, since datelines have become our way of life,
there are bound to be common datelines connecting people, affecting everyone,
so let me kindly remind you that there is a V-day dateline approaching,
and you ought to know what you need to do...

Best of all worlds

I'm sure you have heard this before:
When one's lovelife is good, his career sucks
When one's carrer is good, his lovelife sucks

Well apparently the saying is applicable to all sorts of situations
I suppose even if one has everything going well and is ethereally blissful,
he can't help avoid invoking jealousy from miserable souls.

I was this close to becoming a grumpy senile when I sprained my ankle
Well, what worse can happen now?
Indeed, my luck changed.
Homebound for 4 days, I had a breakthrough on my work.

A silly but devastating mistake made months before had made my life so much more complicated than neccessary.
Being a stubborn pig in my line of work is sometimes unhealthy
cos instead of stopping and rechecking my work when things get too tough
I press on for weeks and week,
bashing through by shear undying brute force.

Nothing is 'too tough to handle' in my vocabulary
it's either solvable in minutes, or solvable in months.
Not a bright child, I must thank my mom for passing on this wisdom:

She once told me that nothing is too difficult for me to pick up
and I should never use my (lack of) intelligence as an excuse
If my classmates can learn their sums in 1 hour,
I can do it 2 hours and it'll still be done.
It's a matter of perserverance and not letting yourself off too easily.

So, matters of determination aside, I found out that
When one's ankle is good, one's work sucks
When one's work is good, one's ankle sucks

Now that the swelling has subsided,
I hope that the windfall at work can sustain just a little longer.
:)

Old injuries

There are different kinds of old injuries, I just got reacqainted with 2 of mine today.

Heartaches can heal with time, or can it not?
when you bump into an ex on the street one day would you walk up and say hi or turn and run away?
I would walk up and say hi to my 1st, probably invite him to join me for coffee and catch up.
I would turn and run if I meet my 2nd, if my legs can still move from the unwelcoming shock.
I would greet my one sided loves but will not linger to chat.
As for my current bf, I don't know yet, I hope he will never become an ex.
I guess our reactions depends on the person we're referring to, the amount of time that has passed since the breakup and the residual feelings in our sub-conscience breaking out when such a 'fancy bumping into you' moment occurs.
I dreamt of meeting my ex last night. I won't say which. But I'll be prepared when I meet him again.

I was musing about these reactions on route to college when another old injury caught my attention.
Out of the blue came the loudest 'piak' from my ankle and the next thing I knew I was kneeling on the pavement.
An old injury from I-can't-remember-when.
The first 1-2 times must be during those ballet lessons in the studio.
When I had a 2-year fling with martial arts, it gave way more easily and frequently.
I've stopped martials 7 years now, but it'll come back to haunt me now and then,
like a lonely soul nudging for some TLC when you least expected it.
And this time, it hurts, it hurts more than previous times.

Well, wounds, old and new, need occasional cleaning and dressing.
If they are neglected, they'll catch you unaware and you may need to spend more time and efforts rehealing it.
Since they keep popping back into our lifes uninvited, perhaps we can give up about forgetting them.
Instead, if we constantly remind ourselves to check on our old wounds, then probably the chances of them catching us unaware will be less, and we'll be better prepared to deal with them.

downside: that'll be constantly depressing.
well, maybe just once in a while......

Karma

I read about the Jap royal family's heir woes today
and started thinking about karma, especially war related ones.
I can't help but wonder if their situation today is no fault of thier own
but the accumulation of bad deeds from generations before
And I guess no deed can be more damaging to a family's karma than the taking of lives.

If the story that my father once told me is true,
then long ago one of my forefathers was a powerful war general in China.
The general had 2 sons, but no male heir for generations thereafter. (sounds familiar?)
To perpetuate the family line, they got willing chaps to marry into the family,
So that their blood can be passed through their daughters into their future generations that carry the family name.
I have no idea for how many generations this son-drought continued,
but i know it was still the case in my grandmother's time.

My grandma had 2 sisters and yes my grandfather married into the family.
To accumulate good karma, she was a strict vegetarian for 60 or more years of her life.
She did not eat eggs and dairy products.
I remember fondly how she insisted on drinking milo only and not overtine because overtine contained egg extracts.
She took no lives, not even ants or flies.
Because of her dedication, I guess the gods relented and she bore 3 sons.
And her sons bore more sons so it seems like our family's karma came out of the red.

Can karma ever be reversed if we practice respect for all lifeforms?
I wonder how many ants I've squashed out of irritation, out of convenience so far
And I have no idea how many lives I've consumed in my lifetime
Will my eating habits and thoughtless killings of pests destroy the good karma that my grandmother had accumulated for us?

Some people believe that it is okay to kill animals in moderation for sustenance,
Many don't believe in moderation.
Is turning our omnivorous homo sapien bodies into herbivorous ones defying nature? Is it modern-age ideological rubbish?
The fruitarian in Notting Hill believes that cooking vegetables is murder.
I don't know what to think of that but I thought it was pretty funny.

Food preferences aside,
I firmly believe that if I don't bring harm to others,
I'll be fine.


<<<>>>

Well if any friends out there do believe in karma,
I guess not all hope is lost yet for the royal family.
There is no need for the entire country to turn vegetarian,
though that might be good news for the underwater lifeforms.
If karma is the cause, then maybe if the entire nation tries to accumulate good karma for them,
the unfortune can be lifted.
The japs have rendered aid unobstrusively, humbly, sincerely and generously to the tsunamis hit countries.
They don't splash their good deeds all over the papers like some countries do.
I like their humility and the zen like quality many exudes
I also love stories of royal families, of kings, queens, princes and princesses,
And the wonderful feeling of goodness, of hope, these associations brings
I might have an overdose of fairytales while I was young
but who cares?
I refuse to give up hope and
I wish alongside her people to hear the princely platter of little feet soon.

Need an outlet

Life is tough.
In the physical world as well as in our mental ones
Even if yours isn't, someone you know is,
And they make contact.
Some seek a logical mind with huge memory and ram to process 101 reasons,
Some call at wee hours for an ego boost,
Some just need you to be mentally and emotionally there for them
_forever and ever_
until their problems are solved, and their depression is lifted.

This week is mad.
More friends than usual have made contact for emotional cleansing
and many small nitty gritty things in my life are going wrong
so I'm near bursting from collected frustration.
To the point where just waking up and not seeing the sun today
actually dampened my entire day.

But when friends and family call
I can't deny them of the support they seek
And I can't speak of their problems
so if could write them down as processed thoughts
I too can have an outlet to keep myself sane.

Never mind the incoherence
Never mind the readers
I just need a place to log my thoughts
and have unknown company in my quiet moments

I finished a cup of coffee sitting on a flight of stairs this afternoon
where i know there will be minimum human traffic.
When peace and quiet is desired,
seclusion is such a bliss.

this blog is dedicated to the moments in my life,
when i need to ramble to nobody.
I want a place to speak my true thoughts
without hurting anyone, pleasing anyone, affecting anyone
and definitely without reserve

yes, this is a clinic for my mental health
and a page to capture those fleeting perspectives of life