caffine high grumbles

Apparently my 'working weekend' only lasted a day. Couldn't resist the temptation to work in the quiet of the night till 4am on Sat, thus waking up at 3pm on Sun, wasn't in the mood to make my way to college in the cold and decided to stay home to tinker about and work on the unfinished slides and couldn't fall asleep till 4am again as expected. Damned discipline. sigh. Just can't seem to kick my bad sleeping habits. Now I'm onto my 3rd Latte and have to re-adjust my sleeping pattern again. *Yawn* Will try to keep this the last cup for the day though I suspect I'll probably need another one after lunch.

Grumble of the day:
No coffee cannot work,
too much coffee and
I can't fall asleep tonight again.
See the unbreakable cycle?
The fault is mine, so I can only grumble.

Grumble. Grumble. *pouts*

Working Weekend

It's Saturday again and I think I'm going to enjoy this weekend. Can't believe I'm actually in the working mood on a weekend when I have work to do! haha! =) *to the cosmic powers acting in my favour, thank you!!* =) Perhaps it's because I've been leaving office before 8.30pm nearly everyday this week and with the 2 hours before bedtime each night, I have managed to set my affairs in order, e.g. like clearing my thick bundle of unimportant mails, giving YS her long overdue haircut, fragmenting my laptop, updated my songs at home, cleaned up the mess I've made when I was sick and also to cook 3 meals for myself. Quite a feat for this queen-of-takeaways =). Now that I've satisfied my exercise target of 2 runs/week + 1 other activity (we played badminton this morning), I'm all set for work. Maybe if I'm productive, I can still catch a movie tonight! *grins*

*****
Recent news... Other than reading the tribute pieces on former DPM S.Rajaratnam, monitoring the spread of bird flu virus across Europe and waiting for Bausch &Lomb's investigation report on the safety of using ReNu, one other piece of news that keeps catching my attention is the ill-fated developments of the S'pore student whose private cellphone videoclip got distributed on the internet. There are quite a lot of gossips and comments online but I shall not delve into those.

Personally, I think a lesson anyone should learn from this episode is to destroy any embarrassing or disadvantageous article or item when one has the means to, before it ends up being manipulated. That includes images, videos, voicemails, emails, letters, etc. The responsibility to protect ourselves is ours only, and we are blameworthy if we failed to think about the corollary of our actions in the process of exploring new concepts and products.

For the young lady in spotlight, to leave a mark on one's life in this manner and at such a tender age is definitely not worthwhile. It is immature of her to think that she has not done anything wrong just because her friends are all doing the same. Moral standards should not define by social norms or peer culture, but by virtuous and respected principles of conduct that have withstood the test of time. It is indeed unfortunate that among so many potential Tammys, she became the chosen one to have her mobile stolen, her private videos distributed online and even pirated in M'sia. I feel sorry for her circumstances, but honestly, I feel greater pity for her ignorance and carelessness.

snow and bums

lalala... it snowed today.... it's wet snow but still rather nice watching them float down from the sky... only if there is a huge warm fireplace to keep me warm while I enjoy the view...

And ouch for the umpteen time today - bum ache. Managed to run 2.4 under 15mins yesterday, can pass NAFA, no gold, but not as bad as I've anticipated. The new gym is really COOL. Love playing with the hi-tech stuffs. All the equipments are linked to a central fitness system that keeps a record of ALL the exercises I've done in the gym, from press-ups to running and they even award points. Actually, I'm most pleased with the TV and FM option on their treadmills so that I can continue to watch news while jogging as before, and for free too!! heh heh heh. So yeah, maybe I start living a healthier lifestyle. =)

Gymmie

Will be off to the gym in 15 mins time... heh heh heh... it's not like I've not been to a gym before but I have been waiting eons for this evening's gym induction course in our new sports centre so that I can start jogging regularly again.

It has been a long time since I jogged.... hmmm.... I think 5-6 weeks at least? And only swam once in S'pore, so hope to have a decent workout today. Someone once asked me "no gym cannot work out meh?" and for me, the answer is YES, cos (a) I dont want to risk contracting pneumonia or even a simple nose bleed by jogging in freaking 5 centigrade london weather; and (b) I enjoy running on treadmills because the running speed is pre-determined so that I don't have to constantly worry about whether I am keeping good pace. =P

Just one more wish before I go. Hopefully none of my colleagues will be there to watch/hear me struggle on the treadmill. I'm quite out of practice after all!! *grins*

感动

在国外生病没有人照顾是挺可怜的。在这时候受到朋友特别的照顾最容易感动。我的病虽然几乎痊愈了，但一位相识不到一年的朋友既然在上个星期天特地顿补汤给我， 还打算不辞老远的送到我家，让我感动不已。还好这位朋友通知我时我刚好有事在外，又很巧的和她在同一区，所以她也不必为了送汤特地往我家跑一趟。

这么多年来我都没有办法象她这般用心的照顾身边的朋友，让我十分惭愧。我想，不管是任何人，一定会被她照顾朋友似家人般的心意感动。很遗憾，因为功课忙，有时周末还要回学校，所以没什么时间陪她。 真的很希望能快点帮她找一个能带给她幸福的男生，因为我想心地这样好的人比任何人更应该拥有幸福。

Listless...

Is there anything out there that can cure lethargy?

It has been 2 weeks and I’m still feeling tired. Really tired. So tired that I even fell asleep in sitting position in front of my laptop the other night.

Initially it must have been the jetlag and flu medications but I’m sleeping and waking at regular hours now and the antibiotics course have been finished more than a week ago. I have been taking probiotic vitamins and ginseng too but why don’t they help?

Is it my caffeine intake? I’ve managed to keep my consumption down to 1-2 cups a day which has taken alot of will power and discipline over the past 2 weeks. I’m not going to give that all up now! It’s not easy to kick the habit nor resist the temptation of reaching out for a temporary fix because I have been reliant this chemical booster for so long. I think I have done a good job so far but I can’t predict how long my good behaviour will last as stress starts building up again. The weird thing is I don't feel more awake even after taking a strong shot, and I did manage to get by without caffeine for a few days when I was back in S'pore, so I don't think this is the root of my problem.

I think the best way is to go to the gym and sweat it out but I’m still recovering from my cough & sore throat. Nevertheless, I think I’ll still go to the IC gym induction next Wednesday for a quick work out and also to check out the facilities in the new sports centre.

Maybe it’s not a problem with my health or the lack of my comfort drink.
Maybe it’s will power (or the lack-there-of).
Maybe it’s because I’m just lazy, my system is still in anti-work mode and all I want to do is to sleep 12 hours a day.

Ah…it’s so annoying.
Where did my energies go when I want to enjoy my life?

Cheers!

Happy Valentine's Day!!
Happy Friendship Day!!
Believe it or not we're sipping champaine now in 393!! Hahaha...
Who says we can't celebrate Valentine's day with our colleagues?
It's one of V's brilliant ideas, when J reminded her that it's gonna be V-day today...
So cheers everybody!!
=)

Ahchoo and Hwachoo

Have been battling with flu/cough/sore throat since I came back. Sigh. Not to be superstitious but it's not good to fall sick over CNY, cos some 'superstitious' folks believe that what happens over the 1st 15 days of CNY will be repeated over the year... *shudder*... No lah, not too superstitious, just worried because my lungs have been my weakest constitution after I had pneumonia and I had just finished a course of antibiotics for my throat/nasal infection. From experience, my immune system will be weakened after taking antibiotics and I'll be more susceptable to other virus strains. Well, I did take quite a considerable amount of time to recover this round and I hope my daily course of multivitamin can boost my body resistance and protect me from other infections. Wo bu yao sheng bing!!!!

And most unfortunately, I think I passed my germs to my mom before I left so she is ill too. Hope mummy gets better soon!

*****

I attended Hwa Chong Nite again for the first time in 5 years last Saturday. Wasn't tempted to go in the past two years because there were no old friends to go with to reminisce about old times and I guess even though the hwachong spirit is strong, there will always be something special and unique and distinctive about the year we are enrolled in. Well, for some reason I felt like attending HCN again to see what it has become of today. I wanted not only to remember my JC days but also to relive my Uni days where I was in one way or another involved in the production of earlier HCNs. This urgency to see what HCN has become now may be due in part to my subconcious reminding me that it may be my final oppurtunity to attend one in UK for a very long time to come.

Well, most of the 'kids' are from the 00 batch and beyond. Had a few 99s around then came the next big jump to two 96s (that's me and SR) followed by one senior from 90. SR and I, coming from the near-extinct 96 batch, were 'honored' by being seated at the VIP table. Had a feeling of being saboed but looking around me at the faces from the post-millennium generations I had to admit that 'sui yue bu liu ren' and believe it or not it has been 10 years since I entered JC... wah... nevermind, I'll learn to age gracefully... =)

Many precious memories came flooding back to me throughout the night. Watching the Judo/Akido performance I remembered my first HCN. I was pursuaded by an IC senior to join them in giving a wushu performance. Our numbers are small, two from IC, one from UCL but we have one very keen senior who travelled all the way from France to join us for the performance on the actual day. For this reason, we gathered at the hotel for rehearsals very early in the morning. We each had a solo piece but it was the first time everyone was present to cheorograph and practice for our combined pieces and put everything together. For our combined act, there were some weapon sparring (I left that to the guys of course) and since I was the only girl in the group I had to play the role of the hostage but at the end of the day, I was to save myself by grabbing my senior's arms (he had me arm-locked at the neck), bend over and fake a throw. I was quite shocked when he first told me of his plans because I didn't think it would be safe and was well stunned the first time we practiced the throw because all I did was to kneel and bend over and he literally flung himself over my shoulders, rolled over and got on to his feet in a blink. The second throw was not as successful cos I did not release his arm quick enough and he lost the momentum for the roll and ended up flat on his back. I felt really sorry but knew that the best apology was not to make that mistake again. After a few more throws and practices, we were ready for the night and took an hours break to grab a bite and got changed. And then, just as we rehearsed one last time an hour before the dinner started, I sprained my ankle. What a blunder for me and what panic for my seniors! They had to re-cheorograph the combined piece as they waited to see if the swelling of my ankle got better. It didn't, but I felt so disappointed if I had to let the efforts got to waste and I wanted to perform pretty badly, and so I did. I performed carefully and avoided all the dangerous low moves. That's how I got my disobedient left ankle who likes to jump out of its socket once in a while but I have no regrets. It was like participating in MAF again, complete with chinese dance, chinese drama and singing all our 'xiao yuan ge qu', having a chance to reminice my JC days again in a foreign land.

My second HCN was the most hectic. My entire household was involved, including my NJC roommate who got roped in to do photography for us while I handled the video camera. It was the first year our UK Alumni was recognised and officially set up hence preparation began way back in Singapore where we went around seeking support and donations. We were enthusiastic and ambitious. Our target was 200 people and we got 220 to attend. Proper printed glossy dinner magazines were produced back then, and to save on costs almost all the decorations were carried over from Singapore and menus were home printed with paperhouse papers. The student council was still using cameras to capture our college days back then, so the members in charge of programmes had to go back to college for several days to film the videos and make the picture montage. Closer to the night, I remembered having an emergency ticket sales meeting at my place where we frantically called practically everyone we know to push for ticket sales. On the day itself, everything from flowers to banners to disco sound systems had to be set up by ourselves. I believe from its inception, the floating balloon concept had been used for every HCN since. Initially the plan was to tie balloon around the perimeter but because the Gloucester Millennium hotel ballroom had a high ceiling, we then floated half the balloons up to the ceiling with curling silver ribbons dancing down from their ends and tied half of them to chairs to create a two tier mystic effect. And it worked beautifully. The only hiccup we had was that no one recognised the High Commissioner then and he was wondering around the hotel lobby before the reception committee found him.

Third HCN was supposed to be the 'retirement' HCN where I could sit down at a table with all my friends and enjoy a proper meal. But at the very last minute I was asked to help out with the video filming again as they were shorthanded. Perhaps I wished too hard that I could perhaps take a few bites of my food in between performances, because there was not much filming to be done that night. The hotel sunk into darkness right after the welcome speeches. It so happened that the upper stretch of edgeware road had a power cut and the hotel was right at the end of the darkened zone. Since the ballroom was four levels below street level, there were no windows and the hotel staff had to bring in lots of candles. Incredibly, the three courses were still being served promptly. We couldn't tell what we were eating in the dim candle light and wondered if that was how people lived in the days before electric lamps were invented. Without power, there were no video clips, no dance, except for a violin performance played in the dark. That was how romantic and surreal the dinner was. I wondered if the high commissioner remembered how we guided him to the cloakroom aided by emergency exit lights, only to find that all the available candles in the hotel have been mobilised for guests use and the cloakroom lady had no means of finding the comissioner's coat in the dark. So we stood there talking for ages untill a light was found. The power came on again at 11pm and the three hours disco went on without hitch, during which the dance performance and video clips of the all time favourite wildly funny orientation scenes were shown.

Last Saturday's HCN was different but fun. Gone were the MAF themes and the chinese plays. In their places were pseudo prom night beauty pageants and mass dance. The school sprit is still strong and alive and I hope that the HCI graduates can continue this tradition and let HCN be held year after year. =)

civilisation

On the bus to college today I saw this advertisment:

'Man can live without friends,
Man can live without books,
But civilised man cannot live without cooks.'

Interesting defination for civilisation.

"I am glad you are alive!"

In a rush to wrap up my work, finish packing and fly home, I forgot to inform my hall neighbour that I'll be celebrating Chinese New Year with my family for 2 weeks.

Thus when I met her in the kitchen on the 2nd day of my return, she was so happy to see me and told me that before she found out about my whereabouts she thought I had fainted in my room! *LOL* She knew I was back because I woke her up at 9am (on a Sunday) with my earth-shattering tear-jerking coughs but she didn't mind abit cos she is glad I'm alive... aww... so sweet...

Well, I'm glad that I'm alive too and my cough is getting better already. =)

And thanks for putting up with the temporary noise pollution neighbour!

2 weeks not enough!!

Wow, almost forgot that I had a blog. Can't believe that two weeks just flew by like that and now I'm back in my freezing office again. It was like living a totally different world when I was back home and coming back to London so soon without time to prepare myself mentally has got me confused about which life I lead is real. Actually, both are, and I am equally comfortable in both contries but it is as though my soul is living simultaneously on two different planes, yearning for them to merge so that I can have all my loved ones by my side as I continue my academic pursuits. Well, I suppose dreams should always be left as they are if the chances of them coming true are slim.

I realised that I was still living in two places and two time zones when I tried really really hard to recall which is the correct MRT station to head for after school to get me back to my hall in London today.*lol* I still wake up automatically at 4am in the morning and by 4 o'clock in the afternoon my brain starts falling asleep. I really missed the food, the smells, the sound of trains passing my place every few minutes and I even miss the chinggay procession that was supposed to pass through my estate yesterday which I've not seen in years. And I miss the warmth from the sun now as my numb fingers type away on my keyboard. Now, that's homesickness, isn't it? Well, having dealt with it for the past 7 years, I know that it'll never go away but I think I'm handling it much better with each passing year and very soon, I may not have to experience it again. =) yeah!

Despite having to suffer an intense period of homesickness, the two weeks back home have been great and I enjoyed every moment of it. =) During my first week back I realised that I do look somewhat out of place and a quick survey told me that my crowning glory was too traditional. Hence, I went for my first ever salon highlight (yes, I've been really out of touch) and I thought I would surprise my folks back home but they all thought that I had too little colour on my hair (wow, even my parents are more progressive then me!!*chuckle*). Well, at least my brother thought that I looked more Singaporean with some (but not enough) colour on my hair and I agree. I kind of like my new look if not for the frizz that comes from too much blow drying.

The new year period was fabulous. For the first time in many years, instead of imagining the fireworks display over the phone as I call to wish my family and relatives Happy New Year, I caught the real display with them along the Singapore river. I tasted home-cooked dishes that I've forgotten and just sitting among family and relatives made me really happy. I suddenly realised that celebrating chinese new year with a group of friends overseas may be very fun but it is still lonely without family around and I don't think I'll ever want to spend another CNY away from home if I possibly can.

And oh, I did fulfill my promise of making green tea ice-cream for MX by the way and I'm glad I did spend as much time as I possibly can with him. After all, he was so sweet as to take 2 weeks leave to keep me company and it was with his help that I was able complete my shopping in time before I flew back.

2 weeks is definitely not enough but its better than nothing. And now I can continue celebrating CNY with my London friends and also attend Hwa Chong nite this coming saturday. Will be interesting to see how things have changed since we had the uk alumni set up 7 years ago. And of course, it's not going to be all play and no work. Once my cough/sorethroat/flu is cured I'll be packing my daily schedule to the brim again.