Over and under

Alas, my seminar is a thing of the past. Glad to have gotten it out of the way before I fly home for Chinese New Year celebrations. Curiously, something always happens when I give presentations. It was a pretty bad bout of stammering the year before and this time round I blanked out and lost myself in my explanations. All other aspects were given very good reviews so I guess I really have to practice harder on my delivery. I know it was in part due to my brain being severely sleep deprived but I think it’s also because I am not an accomplished public speaker and I am rather weak at thinking out loud. Something worth making a new year resolution to improve on.

My health had been a source of major concern since Christmas but I was simply too busy to worry about it. Every morning I would look in the mirror and see a ghastly pale face, concentric eye bags and poor complexion and every night I would look into the same mirror and see the same features with tired blood-shot eyes good enough to audition for the role of Lord Voldermort. I was conscious of the damage I was inflicting onto myself by not eating well, not drinking enough water, drinking only coffee when I have the time to grab something and sleeping 4-5 hours everyday. I mean, I see the degeneration in my reflection every morning. But to hear a friend tell me that I look like I’m ‘breaking apart’ was downright scary. That should be my wake up call.

Somehow, I am glad that the itchy inflamed spots that had appeared recently all over my arms might have just been an allergy reaction brought on by stress and are not bites from nasty bed bugs. I think I would move out if there are indeed bed bugs in my bed, but I really like my hall and the people there and I have neither energy nor time to look for a new place. Jo said she had something similar some years ago when her immune system broke down because of a period of extreme stress in her life. I must learn to regulate the stress in my life then, another great new year resolution. =P

For the coming week before I fly home I’m just going to concentrate on delivering my work, taking better care of myself and hope that I’ll look less scary in two weeks time when I celebrate my first proper chinese new year at home in 7 years.